Friday 6 June 2014

Update Time - Slowly But Surely

Yes I'm finally getting there, I think I may end up with just twenty chapters in this story. So I'll say be patient, I have yet to revise it, and have my reviewers review it. So please be patient.

I'm already on chapter 16, so yes I'll be done soon. After tomorrow perhaps my speed will increase, that I'll be done before next week. Hopefully Doctor Who won't distract me too much. So yes, at the moment the explosion of events are starting and you'll all probably wonder, is anyone going to die? Yes, yes there will be death, so I'm sorry if you guys hate me when you read the story, because the person's death may be important in the next story. Truth be told it probably will be.

So that's basically it, my hiatus, or whatnot is still going, until tomorrow, when I'm out with my friend, I'll probably have the courage to face it and finish this story. As you all know I've been through a depressed state recently, and now I'm just trying to get back on my feet, this outing may just dispel that entire episode completely. Although I do want to get back to that happy state that I've forced on myself, I will probably miss the depression because it helped me. Writing did help in some way.

Actually this reminds me of the Doctor Who episode I watched recently, it's the one called Vincent and the Doctor. The ending of the episode got to me this time, and yes I cried, but the message was quite powerful, especially for me, at this time. You see in the episode the museum tour guide talked about Vincent and the marvels of his work, and how he used his pain to portray the goodness of the world in his paintings. I had some sort of sympathy towards Vincent in this episode (even though I know it's someone's opinion of how he was) and I think that's exactly what I'm doing with this story.

My pain has made the beauty of the relationship in this story much more tangible, for me anyway, because I know that many of you will probably not read it, or not even care that it's there. It's possible no one will actually like it, but I don't actually care. This story is simply my outpouring of sadness, and in a way, I'm trying to say that although I may be sad, my sadness doesn't have to affect the world. I don't want it to, and if it does, I want it to affect it in a positive way, by having you look at the good things in your life.

I don't want you to sympathise with me, in fact I expect you not to, because I want you to look at your life and count your blessings, not the negative things. Although I tell you to do that, and I don't do it for myself, that's ok, because while I still mourn over my faults and curses, I do also count the many good things that have happened to me. I still say "that was a great day", and "I remember when that made me happy" and "that was fun" and I will always say "I wish" and "why can't that be me" and "what am I doing wrong". Both the good and the bad are mingling now, and I'm slowly realising that, as the Doctor says, "The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant."

So I'll keep soldiering on, and yes I will always have these depressed spells and yes it will be a long time before they truly go away, but I know that in the end, they will help me, I know that while the bad things in my life get me down, it would mean that the good things will be that much better. It will mean that my life will balance itself no matter what I feel in one particular time, because in the end the greatest thing that I could look forward to is when I return to the place where it all started. I return to the place where I truly feel welcome and at home, where I'm truly loved. And that my friends, is when I can honestly say I belong.

So as always, with a light heart please do with this post what you will and may God Bless you the rest of your life. ^^

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