Friday, 9 October 2015

Stressing Out And Spiritual Reflections

Right well, first off, I'm currently in the middle of reviewing my fourth draft for my story, in which the first five chapters are all ready and just need a few tweaking. It'll be up soon! I promise! Second, it's October (the perfect time for mystical, magical things to happen - although it's highly impossible for things to happen to me), and the LEAGUE OF LEGENDS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP tournament is playing throughout the weekend, so get ready for LEAGUE OF LEGENDS SPAMS!!!!  Third I'll be getting a job soon! Actually it's my sister's old job, so I know what sort of things she goes through...most of the time, so expect rants on customers (*secret evil chuckle*). And finally, MY LAST YEAR AT UNIVERSITY IS ALREADY UNDERWAY!!!!!

Ok, so let's start with the story. So over the last few months, I've actually gone into detail about the background of this strange world. In this first novel (Which is taking forever to complete, thanks to both my own obsessive need for sense and the fact that I like it to be perfect) we're walking in the north of the concerned world (I've even drawn a rough map!) and I'm actually creating floor plans of the palaces and homes that my characters step into. It's going to take a while to finish, but at least I know where they're going to go. Anyway, so the main thing I want to speak about for this is that I can actually compare myself to my characters...well at least the main heroines. Basically...if you haven't already guessed, there are Seven...sort of...godlike characters. Basically think of the archangels like Michael, Gabriel, etc, but they're magical. They're not warriors but more like peacekeepers.

Of course, many people think that "peacekeepers" are passive people, they tend to want everyone to love each other, and good to reign and blah, blah, blah. The Great Seven, as they're called, aren't exactly like that. I mean sure they try to stop anyone from fighting, but they know it's never going to happen, since free will means that selfish acts have to happen. However, they will do their best to stop these selfish acts for spiralling out of control. So when their "brothers" decide to take over and force people to do the things they want, they decide to fight back. And when they do get things back on track they just watch over the people that walk their worlds. Oh and because I'm trying to keep things as "scientifically" plausible as possible (like that's not a tongue twister) their worlds, like Earth, will have their natural disasters, which these beings control, if only to test their people and their faith in them. So yeah, that's my definition of "peacekeepers". The Great Seven obviously need to keep the balance. If there is no act of selfishness or evil, then no one will really know what good is. So that's what The Great Seven do to ensure their subjects remember why they try to strive for goodness.

So yeah, that's how they are, roughly, I will be putting up the full detailed background information of the novel(s) up prior to the first novel, so that you guys get a taste of what's going on before you actually read it/them. Anyway, that's what the Great Seven are, and what they do. As for the reason why I compare myself to them, it's because I've realised that I've based them on the seven virtues. They're basically the embodiments of each virtue:

  • Earth - Kindness
  • Water - Diligence
  • Fire - Patience
  • Air - Temperance
  • Light - Charity
  • Night - Chastity
  • Fate/Destiny - Humility
I also based their trials on the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit (which are explained by the Catechism of the Catholic Church):
  • Earth - Knowledge
  • Water - Piety
  • Fire - Courage
  • Air - Counsel (Right Judgement)
  • Light - Understanding
  • Night - Fear of God (Wonder/Awe)
  • Fate/Destiny - Wisdom
Again, I'll explain the reasons for this in the background when I upload it later. As for now, you guys can debate about it amongst yourselves. So yeah, as I was researching about all this, I started comparing my own experiences and reactions to the world to these virtues and gifts, and I've noticed, I basically dip into each one, but I don't fully associate with any of them. It's rather disturbing how little I can associate with them, and I've found myself trying to better myself so that I can actually say, I'm not a bad person. I've realised, as I ponder what I need to do to be better, that it's very easy to fall into the trap of being a "bad" person. I mean sometimes, as I've probably already said, I can literally feel how fragile my body is, like I know that if one wrong moment of exposure could easily destroy my body. It's the same here with my spirituality. I can feel the knife's edge I'm balancing on. I could easily tip one way or the other, and it's rather scary how think this ledge is. Is it just me or does anyone else feel like that too? So yeah, that's the "Spiritual Reflections" part of this post (which I realise now how long it will be).

Now on to the next parts!


As I've said, the League of Legends World Championships are currently on and were' currently into our second week of the Group Stages!!! OMG! I REALLY AM LOVING THIS! I know this championship is going to be oh so woefully one sided, but hey, these people are veterans and they are good at what they do. So what's going on so far? Basically, two groups (out of the four) have two clear winners. First off, in Group A, both Flash Wolves and KOO Tigers have qualified for the Quarterfinals (here in London!) with 4-2 each. In Group C SKT T1 are the clearcut winners with 6-0, with EDG (Edward Gaming) running up at 4-2 (So far). Of course the other two groups can be easily predicted.

Right now, my predictions are, for Group D (who'll be playing tomorrow), Origen and KT Rolster will be qualifying for the Quarterfinals, and for Group B, Cloud 9 and either Invictus Gaming or Fnatic will be their qualifiers. So those are my predictions, but they can change throughout the course of the next two days, since their matches are on during the weekend. If you want to see the progress of my mentality then follow me on Twitter: Vanessa Rocha

Anyway, preceding the Worlds Championship...this has been long in the making, but as you all know I play League of Legends with a few of my film production buddies. Well, over the summer we've decided to actually set up a YouTube channel of our own (yes there are many who've already established their names in gaming and whatnots) but this channel will be very different. Yes we'll have VODS of our games and gameplay, but we're not going to put our film production skills to waste. We're also going to add actual short films and series (that have been made) with our filming expertise, but that's going to be way into the future, when we have a solid idea for our channel.

So yes, I have been a busy girl over the summer. THANK YOU DEPRESSION! As you all know I've had my major ups and downs during the summer, so in my need to not get so down, I've kept myself busy! It's something to help me cope. I acknowledge how down I can get, but I don't want it to ruin my life so I keep busy!

But yes. We'll be uploading our first videos soon, so look out for the new content. I'll be posting them up on my "official" website and here soon. SO WATCH OUT!!!

Back to our regular scheduled programming...

Alright so that's done, let's talk about this new job. So basically for a long time I've been trying to get a job, albeit half-heartedly, because I'm already in university, and in my last year, so I really need to start taking responsibility. Originally I was going to try to find something related to media or film, but because most of that need experience, which I woefully lack, I've resorted into trying to find whatever  job I can get. But thankfully, my sister has helped me get my foot in the door. So, some perspective. She currently works at Ryman (a stationary store here in London) and because she's gotten tired of her work, plus she's going back to uni (and her course is a bitch!), she's quitting. But because the store she works for is woefully understaffed, she's suggested me as her replacement. So...I'VE GOT A JOB!!! Granted I have to go in for an interview early tomorrow, but it's just formality because her manager really does need people to help out, so I'm guaranteed to get the job!

And finally, for the main part of this post...I am in my last year of university, it started around three weeks ago...AND I'M ALREADY FREAKING OUT!!!! I have so many assignments to complete! Ok, so here's what I have to do:
  • A Script Analysis
  • A Treatment for said analysis
  • A Storyboard
  • A Storyboard Edit (with Voiceover, SFX and Music)
  • A PowerPoint Presentation about a social issue surround film representation
  • A Treatment and 15 pages for my own 50minute script
And for some of them I will need to include a critical analysis...just to show my own reflection on what I did...I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

First off, the first four are for one module...You know how when you think film production, you immediately turn to "director"...well that was me before I took up this degree. I thought that maybe, if I was ambitious enough, I'd be able to call myself a director...but I am so naive! That path is definitely not for me, and this module proves it!!! I can not be a director, because I don't like the idea of having that power and responsibility! It's too much work for me! I know there are many women out there who think "No you can do this! We are women, make us proud!"...Yeah, I'm all for that...But my own personality is not the type that will withstand that pressure!

The PowerPoint Presentation is another thing I hate! I really hate standing in front of an audience and speaking! I hate it! I hate it with a passion!!! I had hoped that I wouldn't have to do it, but no! IT'S AN ACTUAL ASSIGNMENT!!!! Just kill me now!

As for the last one, I'm good with that, I actually don't mind. I'm already almost done with the treatment, and I'll be soon starting on the 15 pages. I'm glad I chose this option of the Project module. That, I'm happy about. But still, it's a lot of pressure! I've got a lot of writing, rehearsing, and socialising I need to do. I mean I have like 3 more weeks before things start to need to be handed in and it's so stressful!!! I really need to buckle down and work soon. It's going to be a lot of work!!! I HATE THIS SEMESTER!!!! SOMEONE KILL ME! ><

Anyway, that's it (sorry for the long post) and I'll see you all next time. As always, do with this post what you will! This is FeatherCharm, signing out! God Bless!

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