Wednesday, 26 November 2014

All Work And No Play looks like self-deprecation is the thing that pulls people in...since I've noticed my post I Am A Horrible Person seems to be getting the most views...and from America no less...yes I stalk my own blog, so be it!

The truth is, I have a lot of free time to do whatever, because of:

  1. Procrastination
  2. Lack of friends
  3. Lack of anything I find interesting
Ok so the last one can be attributed to my own personal tastes, but what can I say? I don't have a piano in my home to keep me occupied. Yes I'm a closet pianist, and no I don't take requests because I don't know very many pieces.

It's as I said before, I'm living a half-life, because there's really nothing interesting anymore, and anything interesting usually involves alcohol or some sort of wild shindig that I don't really fancy. I mean come on! Is there nothing left for an introvert, like me, to do, without going out and partying as a drunk?

The truth is, I just sleep, once I get enough alcohol in me, I don't dance, I don't speak, I just sit there, like I'm stoned. It's no fun at all!

Oh and the title? Yeah, that was just something I thought fit, because I'm writing this on a day where I'm supposed to be at work, but because of travel disruptions (as always, when you're in London) I can't go, so I'm stuck at home, trying to piece together my assignment and waiting for a response from my employer about what I was supposed to do today.

So now I'm sitting here, contemplating whether or not I should have a game on League of Legends first, or work on my assignment...and as I got up to get my robe, because it is too damn cold even with the heating on, I decide, I'll do a little more of my assignment, and then I'll play a game...

You see! That's how sad my life is. I know you'll all probably say, "Get up and go somewhere, a park, a club, shopping, something, instead of sitting here and moping about and complaining!" but my response to you is..."WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO GO!!! I live in the middle of nowhere! Yes I may be in the city, but it is a far cry from city life! I live right next to Heathrow, which is where all the action is! Not to mention all that action is beyond security, I can't get past without a boarding card and passport! How the hell am I supposed to have fun there! Also, if I want to get anywhere, I'm going to have to commute! So what is the point!"

Yes that would be my argument, because I pretty much live in the countryside. While it may not be farm-land or the rural areas, it's a suburb where there are no clubs, no night life, and for someone like me, in a society where drinking is an everyday thing, or being loud is a social thing, I don't fit in at all!

Ok, I know this is slowly becoming a rant, but there's very little I can do about that because my 'dark side' has been unleashed and it's attacking me, and that's exactly what this post is doing for me. I don't know how, but it is.

Oh and as a side note...if any of you, who know me, and came from my primary school...GREAT JOB! As I said in a tweet a few weeks ago, you've successfully made a train-wreck of me, all the bad memories and self-loathing from all those years ago, have come to surface, and won't go away...So give yourselves a pat on the back, because yes you've succeeded in making a mess of me, because all the times I'll be crying over pretty much any little thing, I'll be thinking of you, and how you teased me. All the times I'll be angry at myself, I'll be remembering all the secrets you told each other about me. All the times I'll be ashamed of myself and wish I were dead, I'll be reminiscing on the times you backstabbed me because I was that gullible. Yes, gullible.

So the next time you see me and I'm putting on that mask of a smile, know that there is a broken person underneath and it was all because of you. Well done, you should all be given prizes and awards, but unfortunately I don't have any, so you're going to have to make them or buy them yourselves.

It's funny how life can screw you over like that. After seven years together (we were aged 3 - 11 at the time) you'd think they would know to stop harassing me and understand that I'm a sensitive person, not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. Also, it's thanks to them that any source of interest, for me is in books and fantasy novels and, yes, fan-fictions too. That's why I have quite a wide ranged vocabulary. Now I can write all the things that they did to me, but without implicating them.

Oh now that I think about it, it's funny I really should blame them, name and shame them, but because of who I am, and what my beliefs are I won't, because I'd be sinking to their level. The only reprieve I will probably have is that they would feel ashamed of making this mess, of making a monster out of me and they can never fix it because they won't ever see me again. They probably don't even know I have this blog and don't even know that this post is about them. Sure they may stumble across it one day, when they remember me, but I don't think they will. There is probably one in a billion chances that they would find it.

So for now, I will enjoy what freedom I have here on the internet, because they're probably never going to find this. They're probably too busy to even care, and I am so glad for that. I can say "SCREW YOU!" as much as I want and there is nothing they can do about it!

Friday, 21 November 2014

I Don't Know What To Do

Well, my hiatus is over, and so I should be able to go back to my review blog and my story (because obviously I've already started playing League of Legends), but for some reason, I can't bring myself to do anything. Granted I've been logging onto my account for League of Legends, but that's about all I do. I don't play a single game unless a friend plays with me now...and as for my review blog, Doctor Who won't be coming back until Christmas, and well, I have one more assignment to hand in next week, before I can actually say I can return to my story, but truth be told, I'm dreading having to go back to it.

I'm not sad it's ending, in fact I'm happy that I can finish a story that is actually mine, but what I'm dreading is the happiness at the end. Of course every romance story has to have a happy ending, whether the boy gets the girl, or they have a sense of self-actualisation there is always a happy ending, and when I think that, I look back at my own life, and I find myself...not in the mood for happy endings.

I know I could always have a sad ending, but this story is mainly aimed for women, and you know how we like a good ending (never a cliffhanger - we always want the ending - God knows why, but we do). So I have to give it an ending, and most preferably a happy one, but every time I think about it, I just feel so depleted. Every time my mind goes to my story, shy away, because I haven't had my happy ending, and I don't think I ever will...

Lately I've been re-reading Labyrinth fan-fictions, and that feeling I get after a story is done, the king gets his queen, and everyone lives happily after, just makes me yearn for that happy ending. I long for that king to rescue me. I long for my own Goblin King, and yes, I know people will say philosophical things, but I don't care. You may think I'm longing for that "bad boy" type, but the truth is, the fact that in these fan-fictions, he still goes after her and she loves him back, is the one thing that I want; the one thing that I feel like I deserve.

I'm not saying I do, and I know it's impossible, but the fact that someone could love you, with all your flaws, is the one thing I truly desire. Many of you will probably say "if you want it go out and get it, love won't find you sitting at home and pining away," but that's just it! I have gone out, I have tried.

I've tried to flirt, I've tried to play the coy and shy one, but nothing works! I'm not extroverted, I'm not happy standing there with stranger and "chatting them up" it just makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable, and the instant I step out I wish I was home, curled up with my iPad or a good book.

It makes me despair that I am so introverted that I can't even see the light of hope anymore, and as I type this, the most quintessential quote I can think of, from the same movie that has inspired my longing for love, is, "It's not fair!" Yes, you've guessed it, Labyrinth. So long, I've looked at life, knowing it's not fair, but for once, I will say it. It's not fair.

It's not fair that I am sitting here, writing all this out. It's not fair that I have this demon. It's not fair that I keep painting myself as the victim, when really it's just me being dramatic. It's not fair that I always seem to cry about this time and again. It's not fair that everywhere I go I seem to be mocked by couples, by strangers who can speak out to people and by friends who seem to have friendships that could span the ages. It's not fair!

Right now I'm listening to Shatter Me (yes, I know it's year...since I've last mentioned this song but screw it! I love it, and it speaks to me) and it makes me want to shatter that glass that surrounds me! If you've seen the music video, you can understand what I'm talking about. I want that someone to make me feel alive, I want to stop living in this half state, where I think I'm living, when really I'm just lost, and lonely and not even living.

I know many of you may feel the same way. I know there are people out there, who feel just like me. So I ask you, WHERE ARE YOU! If you do feel the same way I do, why can't I feel you're presence. You +1 my posts, but I never really know if you're simply +1-ing it because it's a new post, or if you actually agree with it. No one even comments, so I keep thinking that no one really reads this post. It's frustrating and every now and then I am so tempted to delete this blog, because what's the point! What's the point of having this blog, when I don't even know if anyone does read it.

You all probably think I'm pathetic, or insane. Perhaps I am, but that doesn't make anything better. As I said before, I am a rose, surrounded by thorns, because I can't break out. The darkness surround me and I feel like I'm going to suffocate because I don't even have the courage to find the light. I'm slowly dying from the poison that tips every thorn and I have no idea how to cure myself of it! I truly, sincerely, and deeply ask for help!

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

I Am Not Fine

So recently I discovered I am not fine (as the title says). Apparently I have a dark side that's holding me back from whatever I should really be doing, that is according to my lecturer. I actually listen to him, because he's actually very observant with these things, because, as a screenwriter he knows a bit about psychology, and my psychology is somewhat messed up, in his opinion.

Well, that explains the unexpected depression...actually, it's not unexpected, it's been going on since...well, since this course started...I'm not entirely sure why, but since September, my mood's gone from ok to "I can't be bothered anymore" and I don't mean that for just university or work...I mean it with everything. For example, I've recently returned to my most favourite game League of Legends (which in my opinion is one of the greatest games I've ever played!) and it's been two months...but in the last few weeks I can't be bothered to play...I log on and I just don't want to play a game, bot or PVP. It's not that I'm tired of the game, far from it. I'm actually just not in the mood to do anything...not even watch YouTube videos...I mean, I watch the new vlogs from the channels I'm subscribed to, but that's pretty much it. Then I go off and read fan-fiction, but not just any fan-fiction. I read the fan-fictions that I've learned to love over the last 3 years, namely Of Dreams and Broken Things; What's Past is Prologue; The End of Days and Dreams, Wishes and Plain Brown Wrapper. All of these fan-fictions, as you can guess are all based on Labyrinth.

As I read these fan-fictions, I find myself wanting to be Sarah, more and more, and I find myself thinking a bit like these versions of her, especially when it comes to feeling like I don't belong in this world, and I really should be somewhere else, like another world or another time or universe...I guess, I'll not be alone in that department...but nevertheless, I do feel quite alone, in the place I'm in, because as we all know INFJ's are very hard to come by, in the real world...

Anyway, that's what I've discovered is the root of my problem - the fact I had a dark side and didn't know it...but what caused this dark side you ask? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNOW! I've been trying to ask myself that very question ever since I knew I was (mildly) depressed. I put it down to my childhood bullies, and whatnots, but to be honest, I don't really think it's them...I mean they're a major factor, don't get me wrong, but they're not the only things that have caused this and I may just be over-thinking this, but I do think there is more to my dark side than past bullies.

So yes, it's a rant, but it's probably good for me, because I get it off my chest, and maybe I can breathe better, but who knows...

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

I Am A Horrible Person...

And I should just live in a hole somewhere, so no one can get hurt by me.

A few days ago I wrote a blog post that basically ranted on about university. While, yes it was uncalled for, and childish in some people's eyes. It was my way of just venting out all the rage I was feeling. Throughout the past couple of weeks, as you've probably noticed, I've been feeling rather distressed and unusually angry, sad and depressed. This was because a cumulation of a lot of things. Not only was it university work that had stressed me out (although it was a part of it), a lot of family issues, personal issues and self discovery issues have been the major cause of it.

Let's start from the beginning shall we? First, In the summer, I took this personality quiz, and found out that I'm an INFJ. Basically an INFJ is a complicated personality, and we are very rare. Our motto, basically is "help me help you". So that affected me, and I've basically been trying not to develop the weaknesses of this personality trait (it was a detailed profile, that unnerved me).

Next I'd been invited to so many parties, that weren't all that great, and I wondered why and how people could enjoy these things. What I'm talking about are clubs, drinking alcohol, and whatnots. It just didn't appeal to me, and I wanted to go home immediately after I had stepped foot into the club. I just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep. I wanted to watch TV and think about nothing else. I wanted to write my story, read a book, anything but dance to such loud music and yelling on the top of my voice.

While I was in the night club, I just wanted to sit in a corner...or better yet, the bathroom the entire night, and wait until it was time to leave. I hated going out, and yet I was forced, because I had no choice, it was family and I couldn't let them down. 

This had been going on since the beginning of summer, and I have discovered I am not the type to go out on a Friday or Saturday night. I'd rather stay in. The most recent event was a Roller Disco, that I had to go to. Otherwise, my sister wouldn't be able to have her fun, and it was a bit of an obligation, because I had to bring her clothes to our cousin's house, so that she could be ready. In the end I simply waited for nothing. My parents decided that she should just change at our house, and then we could both go together. In my mind I could not have gone. I didn't want to go and it was expensive. Plus I didn't have any money on me and I had to ask for my parents for some.

Of course, as I had promised myself before, I simply sat with the bags, and read Fan-Fiction the entire night. I didn't feel like dancing, I didn't want to mingle, and I was getting decidedly angry, at both the people around me and at myself. Why at myself? Well, I wasn't having the same kind of fun as everyone else. While everyone was dancing about in their roller skates, I was happy reading the story. I was happy simply sitting down, and reading, and every now and then, throughout the night. I just felt bad that I wasn't having the same kind of fun that everyone was having. Granted, I didn't want my picture taken, it was a hassle, and I didn't want to speak to anyone, but I knew that I didn't want to, at the same time.

However, perhaps I could put down my "glumness" down to the fact that I broke down the day before. I had no idea why, I broke down, I simply did. What triggered the waterworks was the fact that I had no money to pay for the taxi ride, and the reservation fee. Not to mention, at the time, I was angry at some League of Legends players for flaming and blaming me for intentionally losing the game. I had to actually quit the game because I was being bullied. That was the first breakdown.

The second was pretty much right after that. It was on a Monday, and I was rather upset still about the Roller Disco, I had no idea why, but I couldn't pick myself up off the floor, because of it, and during an exercise, I burst into tears. Of course it was probably my fault because I had suggested talking about depression, and that set me off. I was really not feeling up to anything that day, and I just couldn't cope. Half an hour before the lesson ended I had to leave, because I just couldn't stay there anymore. Then throughout the week, I was pressured even more, because we basically had two weeks left before our first assignment was due.

I had to quickly pick up the pieces of my shattered self, because I had a job to do, and I couldn't tell anyone about it. As that week progressed, the work kept piling on. I know at this point I would say "thank goodness for my team", but because of certain circumstances, I know they won't appreciate it, since I basically insulted them a few days ago, but nevertheless, thank goodness for them, they readily agreed to help with the work. Of course I made all the templates they worked on, and they did manage to do the bulk of the work for assignment one, but then, only during the weekend of that week, did I realise we had to provide work for assignment 2, i.e. a pre-production portfolio (film-makers would understand what this is), and I was basically hard-pressed for time. I tried to take on most of the work, during that week so that I didn't have to rely on the team, because I knew there were bound to be complications, and other obligations. So that got me stressed in the next week.

Then Monday came around, and we had to reshoot two exercises for the assignment, and at the same time complete the paperwork. I had hoped that by Monday, most of the things I had sent to my team were completed. Obviously I know they have lives (since it's apparent that I don't), but I didn't take that into account, and in my ignorance, I blamed them for my incompetence. So the week progressed and I was getting more and more stressed at the fact that we still had a lot of things to do, and I was starting to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, pressing down on me.

The week was horrible (and this was basically last week), I was getting so stressed, that I was shaking by the time I went to bed every night. I couldn't even sleep well pretty much every night, and I kept thinking about the things we didn't do, and the things we had yet to do. I didn't want to rely on my teammates because I knew they would think it was too last minute. Of course, it was on Tuesday, that we did meet up, and work on the documents together, except for one, since he had obligations he had to keep. Although I had asked earlier (I remember it was either a Friday or a Saturday) if he could do a few of the paperwork. I knew I was taking a risk, giving out these templates, but I knew I had to, because if I didn't I'd burn out. 

So I trusted much of the paperwork to everyone else, and I had hoped that by Tuesday, it would all be done. That way, we could all concentrate on the editing of the video. However, as always there were complications, and we had to work through them during the five hours we were free. Needless to say, we had most of the work done, and all that was left was the individual work, but I thought that perhaps we could have done better if we had paid attention to the assignment throughout the semester. And I 'm not talking about anyone other than myself. I should have known we were working on the second assignment, because of the hints that our lecturer was giving. I should have realised that the pre-production work, would take a while to get right, and what did we hand in in the end? Templates.

Plain and simple, we handed in empty templates, because we didn't have enough time to work on them. Of course it was my fault for not realising it sooner, and I shouldn't have hurt my team because of it, and I guess it was my own self-loathing and self-anger, that I wrote that blog post in the end. I had high ambitions, of my team; I had thought they'd work efficiently like the cogs of a clock, but I now understand that this is university, and we still had many mistakes to make, and this assignment was one of them. Well, in my case, it is for me.

Not because I didn't want to work on this with the people I was with. No, in fact, I didn't mind working with them, but as the semester went by, I realised my mistake of thinking I could control everything, including the amount of work others do.

Anyway, at the end of the week, I was feeling decidedly angry at myself, and at my team (which was a poor move on my part, because they had really nothing to do with my own incompetence), and in the end, just before we handed in the work, I had written a blog post, which is now deleted, basically insulting them, and making them look bad. For those of you who read it, I am terribly sorry, and it won't ever happen again. I had written that blog post in a fit of rage, and I didn't know what I was doing. At the time, it made sense for me, but now looking back on it, I know I shouldn't have written it down somewhere so public, I should have probably written it in a journal, and then torn it out, so that I could help myself feel better, but because of the roar of my anger, my moral judgement was basically silent.

I know I overreacted, and I know it's not something I should have done, and I truly regret it, because now I am paying the price, and well, as you can see from this post title, I really don't feel good about myself anymore. However you all have to understand, I can't express anything verbally. When it comes to speaking to people it's hard for me, because when I do speak, I know I have to think things through before I speak, but in the end, I just ramble because I can't say things in the right structure, and it all becomes a blur and I end up getting emotional because of it. Writing, however, is the best mode of communication for me, that's why I love stories. That's why I'm writing a story at the moment, and I'm not publishing it until it is truly perfect. Writing for me is perfect, because I can think about what I have to say. Of course, that blog post was a one off, but most of these posts have been reread and proofed, including those that have been rants against my parents (because of course, every young adult living with their parents know how frustrating it is when they start to nag at you) and school.

And I know I probably will spark up another argument with this post, probably along the lines of, "even if you write this, it doesn't help, because you wrote it anyway", but understand this, I don't take to criticism very well. I've already apologised to the appropriate persons, and I know that it probably won't be enough, and I know that I have a lot to make up for, but if this one post is going to ruin your view of me, then how am I going to make up for it? How can I fully apologise to you? How can I, perhaps erase this blot, but fix it so that it's small? 

You have to remember, I'm not perfect. I am going to insult and hurt you one day, perhaps not intentionally or deliberately, but in my ignorance, I will. It's in my nature. I've been like this for all my life, and my family has even told me about it. I've tried to work on it, and I still am working on it. You just have to be patient.

Please don't hold a grudge against me, please don't think I'm doing this deliberately, because I truly am not. I am simply trying to figure myself out, and in the process, I will hurt you. I'm by no means perfect, and I do not try to be, because in the end I know I'm not, and it's just going to have to take some time for me to accept that.

Think of it as this, it's something my mum pointed out one day last year, and because she is a gardener, it would probably make sense:

I am like a rose, not the one with the smooth stem, nor the one that grows in great numbers, but the rare one, that grows amongst thorns. It is not my intention to use these thorns, but if you ever do try to pluck me from my perch, I will hurt you, because I don't want anyone to take me away from the place I feel safe. These thorns are what protect me, and I know it's a bad thing, but it's the only way I can survive. If I have these thorns, I can protect myself from the many who try to pluck me because they want to crush me for whatever reason. If I have these thorns, then no one can hurt me.

I know my thorns will hurt you, but I cannot control it. Maybe someday I can. Someday I may be able to cut those thorns, and make them grow less, but right now. I don't know how. I don't know how to cut down these demons, and I have nothing to help me do so. So as I said before, be patient, and if you do get cut by these thorns, then I truly am sorry. 

Sunday, 2 November 2014

Gaming and Work Hiatus

Yes as the title says I will be taking some time off, perhaps a month or two, because lately I have not been feeling well. As you can tell from Ereimul Reviews (I might actually change the title) I have not written a review for the newest episodes for The Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who or even Once Upon A Time. The truth is, I am going through a personal crisis right now, and I don't think I can handle work alongside this crisis.

I know you all may want to know what this crisis is, but I don't think I will tell, nor will I feel obliged to tell you all. Don't worry though, I have help at hand, so no one need worry. For now, please be patient with me. I will eventually get back up on my feet.

As for the updates, I'm currently working on chapter 23 of this story, and it will annoy you all, I understand that...and when you initially read it, I know you'll all want to throw your laptops or computers or tables at the wall, but I promise you it's not a "she woke up and it was all a dream" situation, read on and it will all make sense (trust me her adventures are not a dream). The idea was taken from Of Dreams and Broken Things (the fan fiction for Labyrinth) and for those of you who have read it, you'll understand what I mean.

Now for my gaming hiatus. Yes I will be taking time off League of Legends partly because my alert pings have not been working well, and I might have to uninstall the game in order to correct the problem, but I assure you after my hiatus is over, I will be back on the game as soon as possible. Speaking of League of Legends, did anyone see the finals? I knew Samsung White was going to win! It was so obvious, Star Horn Royal Club had no chance against them...Have you seen the stats? Anyway, I'm glad Samsung White won, in their own country, I guess it's a nation thing...but hopefully over the next few years, more "Western" teams can feature in these games, I know how great they can be, and I know how tough "Asian" teams are, one day there will be equality, I just know it!

Anyway, that's it for now, so sing a song, read a book or whatever...and as always, do with this post what you want, except copy it because it's my stuff!! ^^


Ok depression aside for the time being. I was unable to watch Doctor Who last night, but this morning I managed to finally get the chance to look at last night's episode...And I am reeling with shock and awe!

Those who do not wish for spoilers: LOOK AWAY NOW

Here's a nice image of Eleven naked for you!

(By the way, the picture is not mine!!!)

I will try to write a proper review later on...once my hiatus is over, but for now let's just spoil everything! Ok it was bad enough that the Cybermen came back, but this new surprise!!! I almost had a heart attack when I finally learned the truth! And I am going to continue screaming around the house until next week's episode! I really want to know what happened!!! HOW IT HAPPENED!!! 

Let's start with the teasers, shall we? Ok, so...A) Missy. Yes, missy she was a shady character, to say the least. B) Heaven/The Promised Land/Afterlife, whatever it was, again shady, and a little disturbing...C) The teasers for this week's episode clearly labelled the Cybermen's involvement here so that wasn't much of a shock.

When I watched the episode (Thank you BBC iPlayer) at first I couldn't quite believe it, Pink was dead (granted, he wasn't much of a player. I wasn't buying the whole Clara and Pink...and Pink seemed my opinion.) Anyway, when he does die, we are then pushed towards Clara and the Doctor's showdown, concerning the keys of the Tardis (Bad Clara! Very BAD! He trusted you, you let him down, very very not ok!!). Then we see them in some sort of mausoleum with rotting skeletons in open faced tombs...casually, there...just sitting on their chairs. Oh look, when Clara and the Doctor move by, their heads move! Of course they do (feel free to roll your eyes and facepalm).

Then in comes the mysterious Missy, and practically snogs off the Doctor's face, oh and presses his hand against her boobs! Not at all disturbing in the Doctor's point of view...Then we are introduced to lovely Dr. Chang (who I like by the way, it was very unnecessary of you to kill him off Missy!). Next Danny and Clara have a heartfelt...or not quite so, where she pretty much denies that it's him, and all he can say is "I Love You"...yeah, when you've been with the Doctor for so long, you know when he tells you "be logical" you "be logical", because more often than not, he's right.

Of course I failed to mention, that we are finally introduced to Danny, as Clara and the Doctor land in the mausoleum, and he casually freaks out...although, I'm not convinced, since the acting was a bit off from the actor, but that was a given, since, as I said before, he's Passive.

Then we finally see the Nethersphere, and ho boy! it's pretty much a city at night, inside a ball...I have to hand it to the FX team, nicely done...Where was I? Oh yes, Nethersphere! If you haven't already figured out, by the not-so-very-discreet glance given by Missy, earlier on, the Nethersphere is just a big ball in the middle of the mausoleum, that isn't even the size of a how can they live in there? Oh yes, via data banks...and that ball is supposed to what? Download thoughts, memories, emotions and whatnots from our dead brains? As if that wasn't tecchie enough.

Then comes the big BOOM!!!! 

Yes the big BOOM! 

Missy is THE MASTER!!!!!

What in all that is good, Moffat are you trying to do to us Whovians!!!!!

I bet you're just trying to kill us all off with heart attacks aren't you? HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS!!!

I know you've got your reasons, and you have little "gems" up your sleeves, but just stop it! NO! It's bad enough you're doing loads of things like this in Sherlock (Killing him off in Season 2 was a big fat NO! I understand it was in the books, but No! Just No! Then what? Having Mary a secret spy who was being threatened, with that whole Mind Palace thing is also a no! Poor Watson he's having enough trouble as it is controlling Sherlock's wild streak, he pretty much has a heart attack when he finds out HIS WIFE! MARY! THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE! Is pretty much the same as everyone else that surrounds him!) BUT STOP WITH THE FREAKING HEART ATTACKS!!!!!!!

Anyway...rant done...I'm just going to scream into a pillow. Fellow Whovians, feel free to join me as facepalms and eye rolls will be happening all around the world.