I Am Tired Of Being Backwards

Ok, so hey! No I'm not a different person, I just wanted everything to be in one place so I don't have to keep logging out and logging back in again, just to write these posts and be on blogger at the same time. This is still Feather Charm, but on a different account so yeah...

Anyway, what is this thing about? Well, I've just recently discovered I'm pretty much backwards, because I'm not really keeping up with everything. I mean, I haven't been on League of Legends for a while, why? Because I keep travelling and working on my blog, I don't have enough time to just play! I know it's all my fault really, but the thing is, I'd rather be out of tune with the world and be in tune with me. There are a lot of things happening in my life: my cousin's graduation, the upcoming League of Legends World Championship Series (that's happening in September...I think...the reason why it's in my life is because I want to watch it), and my last year of university is coming up soon too. I have so many things that's going on, I don't know where to look...so what do I do? I immerse myself in my blog and website, because it's the only way I can cope.

I'm not joking, most of my days now are spent just editing posts, making pages and making new content for the website. I know I should really take it easy but there's just no way I can, because I'd rather get the views on there. I'd really like to have some sort of base going, I mean, I do have quite a bit of stuff on there anyway, but I just don't seem to be getting the views I want, I know I should promote it, but I have no money and the job I do have only pays for travel expenses and I use that money to buy essential stuff I do use! Oh and get this, if I want to buy something online, I have to ask my mother first! There's just nothing I can really do! I have to just rely on the fact that someone in my circle will actually see them and promote it for me...but I know that's not going to happen, because who would want to see a blog/website made by a busybody like me?

Not to mention I have several YouTube channels that I'm going to be linked with (because one's for my website, and the other is a a joint venture), so I'm going to have to promote them...is it just too much to ask for people to look! I don't have much in terms of social skills, but when it comes to being online and getting my opinions out there, I feel a lot safer. However, just like in real life, I'm still being ignored! Maybe I'm thinking too much about this...yes I am thinking too much about this, but the truth is I really just want some recognition! No one really listens to me (except the one person who actually does), the people I try to help, don't even notice that I am doing my best to help them, and I just feel like a hermit because people don't understand that I too need some love! I mean, yes, I get love from my family (immediate family, that is), but from anywhere else? Nope! I mean even here, no one really comments, nor on my website (which I have linked to on this blog), I've no real support on this platform, and it's been what, four, five years? Since I started this blog? I'm just getting so tired of being lonely!

Do you know why I started this blog? I started because a few of my friends had introduced me to blogger, I thought, it's a good way to get opinions out there, so why not try it. Initially it was just meant to be for things like...I don't know...pictures I tried to make on Photoshop (which didn't quite work out), then I tried to make stories, but because I gave up on them, I didn't finish. Now I only use it to simply shout and rant, and pretty much let out the frustration and anger I feel, not just at others, but at myself too. I mean I pretty much just bad-mouth myself here day in and day out, because I don't have confidence in myself. I don't have that reassurance that everything is ok.

And although I have my faith to fall back on, I just feel like it's an excuse, just to say to God, do whatever you want with me, I'm done. I mean, yes I'm trying to do His work, to carry out his mission, but I just feel like no one is really listening. It's like this...I do something, I find it difficult and I get through it, with His help. When I get out at the other end, I look back just to see if anything really happened. I mean, I've built the path, but no one seems to want to take it and join me on the other side, and I look to him and ask, but I just find myself alone, and wondering if I should go back down that path just to ask him, but I keep hearing him telling me to go forward.

Ugh...ok so while I was writing that, I realised, I just gave myself the answer, and that was an example of that anecdote, and once I publish this post, I'm going to keep refreshing my stats page just to see if anyone actually reads this stuff, and I know I'll be getting loads of views, but no one will really comment. I know that. So whatever.

This is Feather Charm, signing off.

Riddle 4 - What is Being?

Well you ready for the answer to last week's riddle?

First here's last week's riddle:

The root of all sin, it creates not life but death,

Our only solution is to have none,

But even if we declare it, it is still there,

Present in the darkness of our hearts,

Even the purest,

It is our greatest defeat.

Did you get it?
The answer was:

Pride!

Reason? Well I thought of it during the week, while contemplating (peripherally) on a book I had read, it's not the root of all evil, since it's one of the Seven Deadly Sins, and I don't really think it's key, but in the book I read it was kind of what the author was implying, but it is a cause for sin, and I thought, well what is the root of all evil? I thought about how Satan had betrayed God, how he used to be the Morning Star. It was because of his selfishness, that he turned away from being a steward of Humankind, and instead became our greatest threat. So I came to the conclusion that selfishness is the root of all sin, (as is money, such as declared by Jesus) but in all essence, it is because we want what we want, and not what we need that selfishness takes its root. Even if we say we aren't, we are. Just because we give money away, or spend time with the poor, we only spend a limited amount, we don't actually give thought to what we do. So some philosophy there but hey... you never know.

So you ready for this week's one?

Here we go:

We do not exactly know what it is,

We say it is, but not what is thought,

It is different for another when it is true for one,

They are never the same, yet it is one,

It cannot be described, nor shown,

No matter how others try.

It cannot be true, as it can be altered,

It cannot lie, as it tells the truth.

What do you think?

Again answers can be posted as a comment so please...COMMENT!!!! 

That is all!

By the way, this picture has no reference to the answer, I put it up, because it reflects the thought of life, how magnificent and mysterious it is, we don't really think at all, and just take it for granted. AGAIN THE PICTURE IS NOT MINE!!! I just used it for inspiration, click on the picture to see who actually made it.