Riddle 6 - Oops O_O

So you know the routine now,

Here's the riddle for last week:

It is a salvation, and a damnation,

It is what we fear, but not cannot avoid.

It is a darkness and a light,

But it will never go away.

It creates grief and life,

We cannot escape it, 

Yet we can choose how to face it,

Some face it with heads held high,

Some don't want to at all.

So any guesses?

No?

~Well~

The answer is:

Death

Why? Well I watched Les Miserable, two/three weeks ago, and the overhanging theme was death. I won't spoil it if you haven't seen the movie or play, or even read the book. But I would SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND IT!! Anyway I thought about death, and was reminded not only in movies but in real life death is always present, but we try not to look at it, and say that we would only look at it later, but that never comes. So, why? Because there are always controversial arguments going on about it, but it is simply something that happens to everyone, at the end of our lives. It's the way you look at it, when you do. Why become afraid of it? Why run away from it? Just face it head on and welcome it like an old friend.

OK this week's one (I'll wait for Monday 18th March to post the answer of the riddle.):

A world set apart,

Seen and is real,

But is never believed,

Those who lived in it,

Cannot describe it,

Nor do they want to,

We only dream of what it's like,

But we will never know,

If we don't live it.

What do you think?

Again answers can be posted as a comment so please...COMMENT!!!! 

That is all!

The picture this time, is mine, but it leads to my other blog, the one that has the story, and if you do go onto that blog, please review the chapter you've read, because I would like to know if it's good, or needs amending. Plus you can add your own ideas! ^^

Cancelled Plans and Disappointment

Ok so you know how when you planned something and the people who you planned it with decided to cancel because of an upset? Yeah this has happened to me today.

Yesterday my sister became ill, and I had hoped that she would be better by now, so we could watch a movie with our cousins, but she's still ill. And we had planned to watch this particular movie for the past week. Cue angry conversation.

I had hoped that we could still go without my sister, because she's seen it twice already, and she actually didn't really want to watch it again, and actually complained to me under her breath that she didn't want to watch it again. Of course while conversing on WhatsApp and telling them that they could go either on their own or with just me, they mistake her leave of absence for politeness, when we kept telling them that it wasn't.

And while trying to encourage them to go without her, or us, the pent up rage, anger, hurt, and disappointment start making itself known, and playing with my words...so in the end I start getting mad at them and saying, something along the lines of "FINE WE WON'T GO! AND BECAUSE YOU GUYS THINK IT'S GOING TO STILL BE OUT NEXT WEEK YOU CAN GO BUT I WON'T BE THERE! AND IF IT'S NOT OUT THEN DON'T BLAME ME FOR MISSING IT!"

I pretty much told them this, and exited the conversation, I actually thought that if I kept being in the group it would become hazardous to my emotional health, and that isn't even looking good right now, even now as I'm writing this blog, and doing homework, I'm talking to one of them, about what's been building up this emotional fart, because I just can't get over it anymore...

Here's why. For the past two years, my patience has been tested and I don't think I can handle all of the rejection! First off, August two years ago. After completing a week in Lourdes helping out at the grotto and feeling closer to God and going to WYD (World Youth Day) in Spain, which was also a way to get in touch and closer to God, I got my results for the previous year for my AS Levels, they weren't good, so I had to repeat a year. September started, and I was still in Year 12, because I didn't pass and I could see all my friends in the year above me getting along just fine, or that's what I thought. Christmas and New Year passed and it's February again. Around this time, I also had to film, for my AS media coursework, and had to put up with one of my actors dropping out and having to replace him with someone else. Oh that doesn't end there...The new actor...who will not be named, because of again emotional reasons...started complaining, because we had to film in the cold, wet winter...Newsflash buddy...I HAD TO!!! IT WASN'T BY CHOICE THAT I HAD TO FILM IN THE POURING RAIN AND THE COLD! MY MEDIA COURSEWORK WAS DUE BEFORE THE EASTER HOLIDAY! In March, after filming, I got my exam results (because I had an ICT exam in January, 10 hours of hell - spread out of course) and I got a failing grade, and I was tempted to redo it again, but thought better of it. At least I knew that if I got a good grade in my ICT coursework, I could get a C over all in my A Level (I managed to continue ICT into A2 - what a relief).

Now skip along to Summer 2012, I went to the US, namely Washington DC, New York and Chicago...I didn't really think it was a touring trip, I had expected something more relaxing, because I had been very active during the year, and I had wanted to go swimming since I actually find that relaxing, possibly near the beach, but if a pool was present, I wouldn't complain, but nope...nowhere near a beach, and not packing a swimming costume should have been my first guess that we weren't going to swim. Instead we took tour buses, walked around beautiful monuments, which did inspire some creative juices for my other blog. But that was about it. There was no spa treatment, no lie ins, nothing. Instead all we got were some souvenirs, new clothes (because that was all we could do, shop for new clothes) and some memories of these places we'd been to...WE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE! (well not properly).

Despite that the only good thing about the Summer was my exam results after the trip, I had nearly expected to get failing grades again, but Boom Bam Baby! C's all around, meaning that I had just barely passed to go to A2! That was probably the good thing that happened for the past two years (prom notwithstanding, although it was a great party and it was for the year I used to be in, I didn't feel very happy at the time, I would have liked it if I had one of the people from my friendship groups attending with me - they were in the year above my old year, so they had their own prom).

Now comes September, I was fully immersed in my studies for the whole term. Except a little mishap happened, and I am now no longer proper friends with one of my sister's friends (you see I took a liking to her friends, and became an honorary member of their friendship group). I will never forget the way she mocked me...IN FRONT OF ME!!!!! All I did was just be myself expecting to be taken seriously, and I knew that I would be funny unconsciously. BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE MOCKED!!!!!! Seriously, this one "friend" honestly shouldn't be a friend. There's loads of issues with this one girl that I can describe but I won't because It would probably take up the entirety of this blog! So now, I'm no longer talking to this person, and will not in the near or distant future!

Then Christmas and New Year came around...which were not even celebrated the way that normal families celebrate...together...My dad had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so we didn't do much things together, and we barely made it to Christmas Eve Mass! I really didn't enjoy it, even though I tried to, I didn't feel the Christmas spirit! New Years was slightly better, but I still felt dejected because of Christmas.

My birthday came, and my mum and I watched the Hobbit in 3D IMAX at the BFI. It was good don't get me wrong, it's what got me into writing riddles, but that's not the point, we ate at Harvesters (a restaurant/pub) just my dad, my mum, my sister and I. I was half expecting to have a big family get together, like we do every year...but as you can guess, that didn't happen. Nope, not a damn thing was done to celebrate my birthday with my whole family.

After this small disappointment, I now had to film with my cousins (the very ones that I had just argued with about going to the move...oh we're getting there) and a few friends, for my A2 Media coursework, which I am working on at the moment. Oh everything went smoothly, and we were getting on just fine, then a small hiccup happened. If you read my blog before, this is where "Anti-Social Time! Bad I Know" came in, I'm not even going to start with it.

Ok so we finished filming and we were going  to pretty much go our separate ways, when I suggested watching a movie with my cousins, as well as my sister (who I wasn't sure was going to come) - by the way, this isn't the incident that started this post off, no this is the one before it. So I invited them, and we were sure to carry out this plan...then one of our cousins fell ill. I got that, it wasn't her fault so I suggested we drop the plans, besides we were going away for the half term (which was last week). This was just a disappointment, which I knew wasn't going to be picked up, and I half expected to watch it in the cinema anyway. So I resigned its fate to be on TV or on the computer.

Then the half term came...we went to Wales. Not a bad place, very hilly and scenic. It was nice, to get out, don't get me wrong. The holiday was nice...I just expected to relax though, and have Wi-Fi...I got none of it...nope, and the pool that was promised to be fixed and heated...not even that...When we got into it on like the second day, we expected it to be warmer that the outside temperature, which was about 4-8...but felt like -2 degrees (centigrade/Celsius)...I COULDN'T EVEN SWIM! We inquired at reception, and found out that it wasn't really fixed yet, the temperature had to warm up...WE WERE TOLD IT WAS FIXED!!!!! So we didn't get to have a relaxing swim, in a heated pool, instead we got freezing to death in an ice cube! But at least later in the week my mum had promised to allow me to get a spa treatment...Nope...not even that...When it came to Thursday, which we decided would be a lazy day, my mum declared that we wouldn't even get that spa treatment, because the employees didn't look as vibrant as their spa declared that we would feel like! That's just great! No pool, no spa, no Wi-Fi! Oh don't even get me started! We were promised Wi-Fi to be available, only to find out when we got there, that the Wi-Fi was available IN THE RECEPTION AREA!!!! NOT EVEN IN THE RESORT LODGES! When you promise Wi-Fi, IT MUST BE IN THE LODGES TOO! Oh and the Thursday we expected to have as a lazy day...we went out. And that's pretty much what we'd done throughout the whole week! We didn't even get a rest day! To say the least it was mildly enjoyable, but I had hoped for better.

Now we come to the event that started this long and winded rant...the movie. I was told about this night out, about a week ago, and had expected to actually go...then my sister came down with the cold. I don't blame her. I was concerned for her. But she insisted I go with my cousins to go to the movie, what do they decide? NOT TO GO AT ALL!!!!!!! If one of us wasn't going, none of us were, even though she had ALREADY SEEN IT TWICE!!!!! This is where they mistake her rejection for politeness. And where this whole thing takes off. I had told them that I was willing to go, but they kept telling me this one little snip of a pharse "If you couldn't go to watch one of your favorite movies again, wouldn't you be disappointed?" or "I know I would be disappointed to not watch the movie again." I KEPT TELLING THEM THAT SHE DIDN'T CARE!!! SHE HAD TOLD ME HERSELF!!!!!!!  But nope, they still mistake it for politeness. BUT I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO PUT THIS NIGHT OFF!!!!!!! I had been looking forward to watching it, with them, and watching it again, because I knew once wasn't enough, but then when they said "we'll watch it next week" I had a bad feeling it wouldn't be on, because it came out early January, and it's already March! So now I had to opt out, because they wouldn't get the hint, that they could watch it on their own, and without us! THEY DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH US TO HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!!!!! And so I deleted the group conversation, and stopped talking to them in that way, and although I have one of them as my contacts in my WhatsApp conversations list, I will not be talking to them for a while, because after this event, I just can't do it anymore. After a long time to myself, and writing this, I have opted to reject they're incoming offers to going out, for now, because I know they mean well, but I just can't be on the receiving end of rejections anymore. I've had to deal with it too much already, and I don't think my heart or my emotional well-being can take it anymore. So yeah I've started crying now...because all this has just taken its toll...so excuse me while I wallow in self-pity...

An Inconvenient Holiday

Right, so you know the feeling when you're just lazing about, happy and content, then someone decides to say something that is highly inconvenient to you, and you know it's only due to lack of memory? Well that's me at the moment...

There I was sitting on the couch, full from eating, and content to watch Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadow (which is an awesome movie by the way), while conversing with my family, and my sister pulls out a booklet of travel places she would like to go to. Suddenly my mother blurts out something that widens my eyes:

"Oh we're going to Spain"

"When?!" I ask, hoping it's in the summer where I have the most time off...

"October!" She says with glee, expecting me to share in it.

I just gaze straight ahead, thinking about it. You may be thinking what's the matter with October, spooks and thrills, so exciting...well I'll tell you now that it is an inconvenient time for me because I WILL BE STARTING MY UNIVERSITY COURSE IN SEPTEMBER!!!!! And university schedules in London are not the same as school schedules, here.

In school you are expected to be in school from the beginning of September to the end of July, with a few holidays interspersed, to spread out the terms. In each term you have a half term which splits the terms again into two....

You might have guessed, that one of them is in October. Correct. The last week of October to be exact. And yes you are granted that this coincides with the holiday...oh but you are not yet close to my ire...

In university you have nothing of the sort...you have semester whereby there are only two...get my drift? All I really have is two holidays (if they don't give me Easter...) that would be Christmas and the very long and very needed Summer holiday.

Guess what? NO HALF TERMS IN THE MIDDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what brings my ire...

My parents have planned a holiday with only my old school's schedule in mind, not a university schedule...

So I'm stuck all alone at home while they have fun in the sun in Spain!!!!!!! Where I would gladly help with the language since I'm studying it right now,and to a very full and intellectual extent.

Now you may all be saying "well what's wrong with that? You get the whole house to yourself and you don't have anyone telling you what to do, you can easily have a party!"

Oh yeah don't get me wrong, I will finally learn some sense of independence, but it's the fact that this was planned without me in mind...

Hang on, I will explain...

What I mean is that they both clearly know I'm going to university and that their schedule is different from regular school. Yet they so willing chose to book a holiday without this in mind, clearly forgetting! This leads me to suspect that THEY EXPECT ME TO STILL BE IN A HIGH SCHOOL REGIME!!!!!! They don't take into account at all that I will be in university, they don't even remember that what I've been so labouring for, for the past two years has been for university! This is what ticks me off! They clearly forgot me! Now they amend this problem by saying that I get to learn independence...FOR ONE BLEEDING WEEK!!! I have longed for, and craved for the independence that many of my classmates will get this coming year, and I have been begging them for the past two years to let me go into accommodation, to learn this but they adamantly refuse...NOW THEY SAY THAT I'LL GET THE CHANCE!!!!!! FOR ONE WEEK!!!! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME, THAT'S NOT NEARLY ENOUGH TIME!!!! Whilst I'll be learning all this at the end of October, everyone has already started at the beginning of the year!

This is what ticks me off! The fact that they are now contradicting their reasons, for me to not go into accommodation and to not learn independence for myself, is the very thing that ticks me off!!!

Oh this has happened before, but only verbally, I would ask my mother something and she would deny it, in fact deny my right for asking again, because "her word is the final word" (similar to what my father would do too). Then weeks or even months later, she would suggest the VERY THING I SUGGESTED TO HER NOT THAT LONG AGO!!!!!!!

Well anyway, I will leave it there, and say I'm sorry myself, since I didn't get to post up the answer to the riddle I posted two weeks ago and I have my reasons:

For the first week I was so busy with coursework and my biology case study not to mention my homework, that I didn't have time to go on my blog and post it.

And in the second week I was in Wales, actually in a resort that didn't have any Wi-Fi connections in their lodgings, but in their reception area, plus I was walking about all day everyday so I didn't have time either.

So I'm really sorry for that. And this week has been hectic because I'm still trying to get off Holiday mode and into full studying mode, so I'll post up the answer and the next riddle next week...

Oh and you may find now that my steam has now blown away, that's because I'm taking into great satisfaction that my parents are concerning themselves with our broken toilet flush, which I forgot to tell them when I got out of the shower, too busy singing my way through Eponine's pieces in Les Miserables. A minor revenge to their accident aimed at me...so you know an accident for an accident.

I know it's petty and selfish, but just once I'd like to be. So it's goodnight from me for now.

Riddle 5 - What is it We Fear?

So you know the routine now,
Here's the riddle for last week:

We do not exactly know what it is,

We say it is, but not what is thought,

It is different for another when it is true for one,

They are never the same, yet it is one,

It cannot be described, nor shown,

No matter how others try.

It cannot be true, as it can be altered,

It cannot lie, as it tells the truth.

Did you get it?

The answer was:

Reality

So the reason for this one? Well I was listening to the soundtrack for Inception one day, and it just came to me. I then contemplated what "Reality" was. For every person it is different: it can be good, it can be bad, but it's still just perception. Reality for everyone is a perception, that we cannot avoid. It is a truth, since it tells the truth, but we see it in different ways. So what is your reality?

Ok! Next riddle!

It is a salvation, and a damnation,

It is what we fear, but not cannot avoid.

It is a darkness and a light,

But it will never go away.

It creates grief and life,

We cannot escape it, 

Yet we can choose how to face it,

Some face it with heads held high,

Some don't want to at all.

What do you think?

Again answers can be posted as a comment so please...COMMENT!!!! 

That is all!

By the way, this picture has no reference to the answer, I put it up, because it reflects the thought of life, how magnificent and mysterious it is, we don't really think at all, and just take it for granted. AGAIN THE PICTURE IS NOT MINE!!! I just used it for inspiration, click on the picture to see who actually made it.

Riddle 4 - What is Being?

Well you ready for the answer to last week's riddle?

First here's last week's riddle:

The root of all sin, it creates not life but death,

Our only solution is to have none,

But even if we declare it, it is still there,

Present in the darkness of our hearts,

Even the purest,

It is our greatest defeat.

Did you get it?
The answer was:

Pride!

Reason? Well I thought of it during the week, while contemplating (peripherally) on a book I had read, it's not the root of all evil, since it's one of the Seven Deadly Sins, and I don't really think it's key, but in the book I read it was kind of what the author was implying, but it is a cause for sin, and I thought, well what is the root of all evil? I thought about how Satan had betrayed God, how he used to be the Morning Star. It was because of his selfishness, that he turned away from being a steward of Humankind, and instead became our greatest threat. So I came to the conclusion that selfishness is the root of all sin, (as is money, such as declared by Jesus) but in all essence, it is because we want what we want, and not what we need that selfishness takes its root. Even if we say we aren't, we are. Just because we give money away, or spend time with the poor, we only spend a limited amount, we don't actually give thought to what we do. So some philosophy there but hey... you never know.

So you ready for this week's one?

Here we go:

We do not exactly know what it is,

We say it is, but not what is thought,

It is different for another when it is true for one,

They are never the same, yet it is one,

It cannot be described, nor shown,

No matter how others try.

It cannot be true, as it can be altered,

It cannot lie, as it tells the truth.

What do you think?

Again answers can be posted as a comment so please...COMMENT!!!! 

That is all!

By the way, this picture has no reference to the answer, I put it up, because it reflects the thought of life, how magnificent and mysterious it is, we don't really think at all, and just take it for granted. AGAIN THE PICTURE IS NOT MINE!!! I just used it for inspiration, click on the picture to see who actually made it.